Stalking isn’t love, actually

Who doesn’t like a film with a happy ending? One, perhaps, where boy meets girl; loses girl; and then wins her back just before the music swells and the credits roll. Think ‘Love Actually’ at Christmas. Barely a dry eye in the house.

But whilst that may be fine in the movies, real-life can be very different. And that was the theme of a powerful video, commissioned by my office, to illustrate how behaviour regarded, and mistakenly portrayed, as normal and romantic, is actually the much more destructive tendency towards stalking.

We launched the video last week. It also starts as a romantic story before reality kicks-in and is the latest instalment in our campaign to tackle stalking. You will be able to see it on the back of buses, on digital bus stops, on digital screens at Tesco stores around the county and on TV and online. The point is, it highlights how to spot stalking characteristics and encourages women to report perpetrators at the earliest possible stage.

FOUR is the national recognised mnemonic to help people remember those characteristics – Fixated, Obsessed, Unwanted, Repeated.  It is a pattern of persistent behaviour that can leave victims feeling scared or distressed.  Furthermore, there is evidence that stalking can quickly escalate into violence.

We know that at least 80% of misogynistic incidents are not reported to the police, and victims can sometimes experience up to a 100 stalking episodes before reporting these crimes, which is why it is vital victims involve the police at the first signs.

The video is part of our much bigger campaign to tackle male violence against women and girls. This includes training officers and staff so they are more skilled at telling the difference between stalking and other practices, to ensure victims get the right support. And it does not end there.

Last week, I watched another initiative aimed at young teenagers.  We have commissioned a theatre company to act out scenarios in secondary schools to help promote greater awareness of what women and girls put up with on a daily basis, and to encourage bystanders to call out inappropriate behaviour. Powerful and emotional scenes designed to make boys and girls understand what is, and is not, OK showing again the benefits of drama to teach difficult subjects.

If we are to turn the tide against misogyny and infamous social media misogynists, we urgently need to educate our youngsters. Because life isn’t like the movies.